So I’m going on tour / The Piano

So I’m going on tour and the first show is in about a month and a half.
I’ve planned this tour all by myself, and I couldn’t be more proud, or more excited. Sometimes you’ve just gotta own it.

There’s no such thing as a long-term smooth sail. Soon enough there’s bound to be problems, last minute issues, things you forgot to remember, and the usual people who take forever to get back to you.
And it’s always in the stormiest of waters that I’m at the lowest of the lows.
The captain is the one the whole ship crew’s relying on, and when the crew is nowhere to be found it’s all about finding the worth in saying things like I gotta do this for me. I’m sailing my very own ship, and there’s no one who cares about it as much as I do, and I’ve got to get through this storm without getting anyone hurt, even if it feels like I’m all alone on this boat.

From the Water to the Moon into the Songs, I’ve finally connected with the shape of this new record who chose me as its vessel. There’s a lot of music out there now, and a musician with the World of Sonic Creation at his/her feet can easily get lost in all that could be done. 
Listen to your heart and the Life of the Fingers, because they know where to go yes indeed.

Sometimes I should remember things I’ve said to the Guides, like My piano is the only creature that’s never hurt me; it’s always been there, and it’s always made me feel good about who I am.
The piano. The piano the piano the piano.

So I’m writing for the piano. And for me.
And there are more and more sister-songs emerging, and I’ll be playing them on tour.

Because I’m going on tour, and it’s going to be, as it already is, a fabulous adventure. And I can’t wait. 

The new music

There’s the Music of Now and then Music of Then.The Music of the Spheres, the Music of the gods, and the Music of the Dead.

There’s the music you make up in your head, and there’s the music that will naturally come out when you put your fingers on the keys. There’s where you come from, and where you wanna go, and there’s always Do I really wanna go there.

There’s the focus and there is Life, happening, distracting.

There is Time, and there is Perspective.

I am shaping up Sound.I am revisiting Groove.

What It’s Like

When 1339 Crowder’s End was just about to be released, I knew a major shift was to happen in my life. I was working a full-time job in an office, making great money, which allowed me to produce the Work of Art that is Crowder’s End in its complete form (the record itself and its 36-page booklet). But then I knew I had to let go of that comfort. It matters more to me, and made a lot more sense, to dedicate as much energy as I could to my career in the music business, than to be able to afford regular check-ups at the dentist. Or really expensive food. Or much, at all.

That was about a year and a half ago, and despite the very rough times, I’m still happier when I wake up everyday, because I know I’m putting my energy in the right place, and life just has this way of showing me it is indeed the right place.

Even if people say they’ll review the album and then they don’t.Even if people say they’ll book you and then they don’t.Even if people say they’ll come to the shows and then they don’t.Even if people don’t pay for the album, and I’m nowhere near getting any of my money back, and yes it was my money, all from my own pocket.Even if people don’t understand how much of a real job this is.

I come from a family of musicians, and when I would ask my mom and my dad and my step-dad about how things happened for them, I would be given the answer/pathway of musicians who were most active between, say, 1970 to 1995. A very wonderful 25 years for any musician who can say they were truly living of their craft.

But what do you do when it’s 2014? Back in 1974, being a musician didn’t mean spending so much time behind a computer. And money was so different back then, a dollar was worth so much more.

There’s the River of Life, and it’s about learning how and when to swim, and which rocks are good to hold on to.

When I was in school I studied languages. I didn’t go to school to learn how to book shows and organize events and promote my work and manage a band. I read books, but it’s never ‘til you actually get down to business that you realize how much energy this is. Especially if you actually chose to drop out of school to focus on becoming an artist.

I just booked a tour of 12 days for my band and I. It’s honestly been the biggest endeavor I’ve taken on since the production of Crowder’s End, and a lot of things still need to be worked out for me to be satisfied. A lot more hours still, behind a computer. But I’m really proud of myself, and so is the band, and knowing how much of a positive and wonderful adventure this tour is going to be, the hard work is most definitely worth it. I can think that I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’d much rather be behind my Wurly keyboard, but the facts stand thus: the tour is booked, I’ve made contact with bands from all these cities and I’m really looking forwards to meeting them and share the stage with them, and I’ve done it all by myself.

Because this is what you do when you begin your career as a musician in 2014. Before anything else, you learn to trust yourself, and know you can do everything that needs to be done.

It’s not about “living the Dream”, it’s about Creating the Reality.

SEX & ROCK II - Live on February 15th

So Steve Karp said to me the other day “It’s great that your show should be called Sex & Rock, because you’re like the incarnation of sex and rock”.And I thought that was neat, not only because he’s a very fine saxophone player, but mostly because this guy doesn’t know me at all, only through my job as a bartender.This guy doesn’t know me, and he just says that. My work here is done. Sorta. No. But I know from this that I should just keep it up.

The Sex & Rock show is a celebration of the sexiness the music brings to its performers, and the sexiness it brings to you. Breathe. Feel. Move. Release. Dance.And maybe this show isn’t so much about what’s happening on stage, maybe it’s more about what’s going on inside you.

This year, Sex & rock showcases four of our sexy city’s hottest bands: The Rebel Boogies, Thicke Sugar, The Crypt Club, and my band, of course.

All bands will be dressed to kill and set out to thrill -lose yourself at the Sex & Rock dance on Saturday, February 15th, at Crobar.

The band and I are looking good, to say the least, and sounding better than ever. AND we’ll be playing new songs.

Between the Spark and the Wood

You can find a place, or you can make/carve/forge/dig a place.You can follow or you can lead. There is a tiny space between the spark and the wood.We are all human beings, alive, and we all have a story, or many, according to perspective.When I look at you, I see people who need to smile, and who need to dance. I can’t say I’m seeing much else, it doesn’t really matter, does it. What do you do and where do you stand? I’m Alex Robshaw and I do what she does, and I’m standing right here. Boxes, boxes, boxes.

And maybe I’m digging a grave, but at least I’m digging my own.And in the meantime, I can still dance with you.

I Believe in You

Perspective.Life is about turning sentences around and re-evaluating words, and of course things never happen in any way close to what you may muse upon.

All I know is that the Art trusts me. The Art trusts me, and the Art needs me. It’s never let me down, so I know better than that.

A year ago you would have told me that a year from now things would be as they are, and I never would have believed you, ever.I never thought I’d change bass players 3 times, and I never thought I’d play the sweetest venue ever in Toronto, and I never thought my first show in Ottawa would have been a full house; I never thought the awesomest girl I’ve never met would buy my album online and become my favorite girl in the world, I never thought it took so much for people to care, and I never thought people could care so much when they do.I never knew what it meant for an artist to have fans, and now I get it.

I’ve met incredible musicians, fantastic visual artists, wickedly resourceful music-business folks, but fans are like beings of pure light that are bestowed upon you, pure light and bliss. And when I’m facing Despair, when she’s holding both of my hands and my toes and pulling my hair with her teeth, with her hook straight through my heart and my gut, the manifestation of a new fan is the spark, the rush of warmth or air or blood -whatever it is that brings me back from the cold place of Void.

Refusals, rejections or plain ignorance -they don’t matter. They’re actually really good. Great fuel to keep going. Crowder’s End is a masterpiece, and the greatest composers only gained recognition when they died, so that’s saying a lot about the way things work. This past year, my record has been ignored and rejected by blogs, radio stations, labels, festivals, etc. But Alex Robshaw and her world have been welcomed with open arms in so many individuals’ lives, and to them it means everything that she should be alive and keep creating her sonic stories -and here is where I choose to open my eyes. This is the Light I’m looking for, when I’m sitting at my Wurly and I’m playing the new Grooves. It matters to Robshaw that she matters to you, and this is what’s real and this is what’s true.

And I believe in you.

Now I’ve Stood Up and I’ve Started Walking

I’m in a place that’s completely new, but at least I’m in, and I listen.Open to the Sounds and the Words. Open to what’s breathing into me.It’s like an ocean that’s leaking drop by drop inside of me, an ocean or a potion.

There comes a point in Sonic Creation where the song is finished, and then it never truly is. A recording is the capture of a performance of a song, but the Song will forever evolve. And maybe one day you stop playing it, or maybe you’ll be playing it at every show for the next 30 years, and it’ll always sound a little better every time. Nothing is finished so far, but there are new songs, and some are truly vibrant. Image and Sound. Art.

Last time I said the second album felt like a maze; I’ve sat long enough at its entrance, waiting and feeling and listening, and now I’ve stood up, and I’ve started walking. Gab and Jules and Ben are right behind me, and I am very well aware that they trust me, and I know how important it is for me to listen properly. To the Music, to the Art, and to them of course. Ben likes to dance, Jules is a landscape artist, and Gab is learning my language. We think and stop thinking, and feel, always feel -how are we wearing the song right now, does it feel right? Getting there. And we’ve still got a lot of time to spend together, just me and the songs. But the Lights are clearing a single path now, and the Words are everywhere. And I know where to find Desire.

The Second Album

The distance between me and Crowder’s End begins to grow. I am able now to see the sonic place I was coming from with my first album, or going to, and a first record is a first record. It’s a fantastic first record, and there are 2 sides to every coin.

The Second Album can be quite terrifying at times. I breathe, and let go of any pressure I may feel is there -mostly pressure I put upon myself.The Second Album can feel like a maze, the kind of maze that has many exits, many ways to take, that would all lead me out to somewhere different, and I don’t really know if I want to make a choice yet.

Deep down I know where I want to go, and the Ship always sorta sails itself, in a way -I the channel for the Music to live, I the Body, the Execution and the Resolution.

Research has started and/or is resuming itself. The Core of “Desire” is found, and I couldn’t be happier for this first light. My second album currently referred to as “Desire” may very well already have a real name, a real identity, and I find myself undertaking the boldest of any projects of mine yet.

Desire is a Game. Desire is the Game. It’s about me and Ben and Gab and Jules now, and it’s about openness, and it’s about listening. And feeling.

Cheap Sex

It’s easy to take your clothes off and get on stage and be that sexy thing people will stare at/get off on.As easy as writing a hit pop song.Cheap, easy music; cheap, easy sex.I wouldn’t call these people artists. What are they feeding you? And Why?The answers are too sad, and they’re not what I’m here to do.

Art, real art that can make people evolve, and touch their core, now that’s hard to achieve.

When I play the Music and I write the Words I know they’re telling me it’s perfectly, absolutely okay to be who I am, and when I perform, when I give these sonic stories a body, a shape, a colour, when I give them movement, I know I am giving it all to the people.

The serene, feather-light feeling that it is entirely fine to be who they are, no matter who or what they are, the many diamond-facets of everything they are, inside and out, day and night. And I know that through their experience of the Robshaw performance they can light a candle and find their own way through the shadows inside for their evolution, an ever-growing consciousness and openness.

Secrets, confessions and revelations, and where do we go from here?

Celebrate the beauty of your Self. Release your Self into the freedom of pleasure, and satiate the dawn of every desire that may arise. This place is safe, this place is true -how many crystals will the diamond unfold into?

And I know what I’m doing, and the most beautiful part of the show is always you. And I do prefer champagne to a cheap brew.

When the People Dance From Beginning to End

Everyone was so beautiful last night. Everything was perfect, and I hadn’t felt such positive energy in a room in quite a while. It’s the best kind of drive. I went on stage with a smile, my band played amazingly, and when the people dance from beginning to end and scream for more, I know I’m doing something right, and I know I’m doing the right thing to just keep going.

My band and I are now taking a break from the stage for just a couple of months -in our new jam room we’ll be refining our performance and yes, working on some new songs. I can finally sit down and write again, and fueled by the incredible talent and skills of Gabriel and Jules and Ben, I know I can trust the Music to be in good hands.

I’m happy and I’m smiling, and it’s the easiest thing to do to believe right now. I’m turning 28 tomorrow, and I know I’m good to go for the next part of my life. I’ve never been so sure.

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